Art imitates life that imitates art. Hollywood people love that crap! Let's start by being real, Demi and Ashton were really cute, she raised the bar for Cougars everywhere! Hot guy, rejuvenated woman, and I'm being kind with that adjective, date, merge, marry and Ashton probably had no hope of children of his own, but shit, she already has three he could play Daddy to. But seriously, can May ever really make it with September. I come from a small town where I have personally witnessed ancient woman make successful marriages or at least life long relationships with much younger men. But in our little blue collar town, most of the boobs are real, and after years of being together, he isn't a spring chicken any more himself. One couple I used to see regularity while working retail, now have him was pushing her in a wheel chair. I could have it all wrong, could be a momma's boy son taking care of his mother--but I just don't think so.
Back to Hollywood and the art/life metaphor.
A Star is Born ,have been three incantations of the movie that I know. 1937, Janet Gaynor and Frederick March, launched their careers but I have honestly never seen it, or either one of them, for that matter. In more familiar territory, 1954, Judy Garland and James Mason--suave , handsome man , but always seemed sort of miscast as a big star. On the other hand it is hard to imagine Garland playing down her talent for the star rises aspect. She did start singing with her sisters in Vaudeville style when she was a very young girl. And everyone's favorite ,
ok, maybe my favorite, Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson. Love that version. Barbra has the pipes and may honesty be as fabulous as Garland. Really bad hair though, and she lived with a hair dresser! Very confusing. And Kris--honestly, not much of a singer as I'm sure he'd admit. But the man wrote
Bobby McGee. A song that should be put in a time capsule, maybe both of their versions, and bring them out every 25 years so future generations won't miss it! And Kris is just my kind of man, smart, tall musician, who is always just a little bit dirty! Anyway, the song and the story remain pretty much the same across the film footage. Jaded, probably alcoholic former star meets talented ingenue, gets her started in her career, his star fades while her's just continues to rise. Haven't seen the 1937 version, don't remember enough about 1954's, but Kris dies in the 1976 version. Isn't it ironic, that if there were any realism to movie making, it certainly would have been Garland who bit the dust. And eventually did, at the really unripe age of 47. I'm freaking older than that.
So back to Demi and Ashton. There marriage is almost the epitome of that life/art thing. Movies star lays back for several years, buying up Idaho, and actually raising her kids. Younger TV actor has success as the dumb friend with most of the comedic lines in
That 70's Show, some fluff chick flicks that probably had a fair pay day, but again, even though I'm certain comedy is a challenge, no real signature movie rolls. Actually the same can be said for Demi, although she was always a movie star. If I had to recount some what I believe are her better works they would probably be--
A Few Good Men, Indecent Proposal, and for some reason I was always fond of
Disclosure. Michael Douglas saying no, when have you ever seen him to that on film.
About Last Night, could be her signature roll. I do feel close to
The Juror, only because it was the first time I think I saw James Gandofino. The point is, she has a better movie pedigree . Fact is neither one of them have had rolls that proved their acting chops.
So, a few years ago, probably 7-8 to be more specific, she reemerged with her great body lipo, and less wrinkles than she showed at 30. But, she hasn't exactly been flush with movie offers. But she looked great. Ashton was out of series TV, but still causing buzz with the whole
Punkt thing. Although I can't say I ever saw the real humor in that--sort of like
Dude Where's My Car. His movies opened and closed without serious disaster. but he wasn't exactly moving forward.
Now--divorce seem imminent. Apparently Kabbala expects people to test sex outside their marriages. Something about infidelity being some sort of litmus test for your ability to be soul mates. Not really clear on the rules--is there a limit on the infidelity? Can only men be unfaithful? Do women languish in some Jewish hell if they reciprocate? And do you actually have to convert to Judaism to practice Kabbala? Or do you just have to have an extra interest in what was written about sex and just fall at the alter of Jewish Mysticism? Will this things be made clearer to us as the pair unravel. I didn't learn any more about it when Guy Ritchie took a dive
Now Demi claims to be 48, been watching her for years and could have sworn she was older than me. Even if she isn't, the hair extensions that make her appear like a 70's hippy--may be time to shorten it just a little so it still covers her forehead, but doesn't drag her face down, just a thought. And I certainly appreciate she doesn't go for the ridiculous bangs to cut back on the Botox bill. You can tell Ashton is a handsome man because he can appear anywhere like he just climbed out of bed in yesterday's clothes and forgot to wash or comb. This is the true test of a handsome man!
So now, Demi is just sort of languishing. Posted photos of her are a little less close up. And Ashton is--big drum roll, Charlie's replacement on 2 and 1/2 men.
Curse?? It never works out well for the
Star is Born characters, even in this dyslexic case. Is it a 2 and 1/2 men curse? The high paid star of the show makes a lot of money and . . . his personal life goes to shit?? Or do boys just grow out of their mommy's and move on to new slightly younger mommy's that take care of them in a different way?? You know, one portion of your life is centered around youth and sexual drive. The next phase is looking for a mother figure to breed and raise your children (Demi would have been good for both of those if she weren't old enough to be a grandmother instead). And the final phase is the compatible person you want to to be content and share old age discussions and interests with. When I was in my 20's I really liked to flirt with and talk to one of our local attorneys. I remember the old Italian woman I worked for at the time telling me if I was just too young attracted to his brains, I should have been thinking of ravaging him instead.
Or is it just as simple as two famous people need to reach some sort of parity on equal ground? Demi isn't over, truly believe she could snag one of those Oscar winning middle aged rolls that would really makes her mark on celluloid. Melissa Leo in the
Fighter. Problem is, in her younger days, the days of being enormously pregnant on the cover of
Vanity Fair, I think she was infinitely less vain. Even if your goal is to be a serious actress, age will suck that out of you. Ashton will probalby always be a TV guy. Nothing wrong with that, only it is better if you find a cable show that catches everyone's attention! Oh my god, look at William H. Macy. And he is a very, very large part of what makes
Shameless work. Or David Duchovny-- again, a very smart man, ivy league educated, very high IQ, tall, looks like a muscian, and dirty! Love it. And he seems to be a Warren Zevon fan that wins extra, extra points for him.
It's hard to give up a partner. Even harder when you are somehow proud that at middle age you snagged a youngster. Demi had Bruce Willis father her children, a smart, respectable man's man if ever there were one. It's like Robert Duvall and all those 30 something dance instuctors from South American countries. You are Robert freaking Duvall. The smell of napalm in the morning. The
Godfather, find an attractive woman your own age and be a real man! I have had some (cough, cough) experience in younger boyfriends. But I never paraded them out to make me feel better. It isn't like I won some 20 year old lottery. Says nothing about me, except during my thirties younger men like me. Hardly a new phenomenon. Matter of fact, I liked the anonymity of people not knowing. Isn't anything to be proud of, just you are raising someone else's son. While I certainly had real relationships with these boys, it was just another psychological attempt to have relationships that I enjoyed but were never, ever going to go anywhere. Why do I like that??
So, in conclusion. Maybe Demi should switch to Scientology, don't they have machines to ferret out the truth?? Both religions cost the kind of money that only the rich and famous can support. If you are a working guy, you can guarantee you will be trolling for other working people and their minor duckets . Got to have a working class in order to support the people in charge. Sort of a religious ponzi scheme. Actually, more of a pyramid scheme. Kind of a religious Amway. And one last religion/ cult question. Those Kabbala people support and build all those centers.
Don't worry about the 10% most christians believe in paying, they pay through their collective asses, take groups to the holy land, but those poor people only get a red string as their red badge of courage or talisman? It could at least be pink gold with some sort of identifying red stone, garnet, ruby? I'm perplexed by this.
Which ever curse you prefer--Star is Born, 2&1/2 men, Cougar relationships rarely work out? Ashton could make it a season or two on Charlie's show. And Demi could definitely hit her prime and find that great middle aged roll, i.e Melissa Leo in the
Fighter! Look at that old woman from last season's
Justified. She rocked. I've seen her in movies with Paul Newman, but she nailed it, even on TV. I suspect the death knolls are tolling for the semi power couple. At least she doesn't have Madonna's money, or no word of a prenuptial agreement, yet. This means Ashton will have to keep the series going for a couple more seasons, He's a hot guy, I wish him well!
Coming up next--What? Suggestion all all you 17 guys who read me!!!
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